To hear in this video I would like to introduce you to an idea called perceptual positions.
Now through the course I had said quite a few times.
Up until now that perception is everything.
Our perception our perspective in life will either be subjective or OB ject of subjective or objective
our subjectivity in life is always going to be determined and based upon how we are viewing a situation
or a circumstance.
If we are viewing a situation or a circumstance from one else's perspective other than our own then
we stand at risk of becoming completely consumed inside of our own thoughts and our own feelings which
therefore means that we will be more likely uninclined to respond or react.
Subjectivity or of subs subjectively.
Sorry.
So first the perspective preceptory positions three different positions three different stance is the
we can take when looking at any problem any presenting problem any situation any circumstance.
No it's important that you understand this in the context of your own life when looking at your own
problems.
But it's also important that you understand this to help other people sheft in and out of different
perspectives when they come to you with their problems with me comprendo cool.
So what would I know refer to first position as perceptual positions incidentally just three positions
three stances that we can take when looking a problem.
First perspective our first perceptual position is our own it's our own perspective.
It's how we see things it's how we interpret the world as what we think it's how we feel.
No see for example going back three years ago myself and my wife Curran we were renting a house at the
time.
Alright I was still pretty much in the early stages of setting up self-employed and when you're setting
up a self-employed we didn't have much money at the time and we were just renting because it was easier
but our landlord wanted to sell his house.
He wanted to sell the house so he could buy another one.
No this was a problem alright.
Me being me I had done my very best to handle the situation as objectively as possible because this
man was threatening me.
My normal way to livelihood our home if you like.
I became emotionally involved in the problem because the problem was here.
This is the house right this second perceptual position.
This guy here was the landlord.
No the landlord he wanted to sell his house so that he could make some money to buy another house but
we just wanted to stay in the house for another six months so the weekers save up enough money.
To buy an old house.
No because the landlord ressource focussed on this house from his perceptual position and we were so
focussed on this house from our perceptual position neither of us could see the woods for the trees.
Neither of us were looking at the problem from an objective perspective.
No the landlord ended up threatening us of freedom of action notices he threatened and so I rented all
this kind of stuff.
To be honest with you and me because I'm a stubborn man I just stuck with heels and said no we're not
going anywhere if you want to go through the courts.
You can do it.
We're not moving now until we're ready to move out.
No the whole thing became completely unreasonable.
Yes that's right believe it or not.
I became quite unreasonable through that.
But anyone who has their horn threatened does get quite protective over it because even if you're renting
in life which we were back then it was his house but it was our home.
So make sense.
So it wasn't until around about 3 weeks later that I ended up speaking to the lady next door.
A lady called Francis our next door neighbour and Francis very friendly.
Quite an objective lady likes to see the good in everyone and he got to bear in mind that Francis knew
us and she also knew the landlord because obviously they were neighbours for quite a number of years.
So she developed she developed relationships with both of us.
Alright no it was I think it was Christmas time actually.
She came round to our house we had coffee and mince pies and all sorts of things and we were talking
about the problem we were telling her all about our landlords.
I'm not going to name any names here.
He's trying to vector us he's threatened us with court action and all this kind of thing and we're not
going anywhere we want to stay here we just want to be here for six more months so we can save up money
and get a lawn house.
And our object of our perception was just completely subjective and governed by our own feelings and
our own thoughts.
So Frances says erm oh I mean I can kind of see where you're both coming from.
Why don't you both just come meet in the middle and come to some sort of agreement.
He wants to sell the house you want to buy a house saw So why don't you just speak to him and ask him
if you can buy the house swaffham in six months which means he's going to be getting rent for another
six months until you're in a position to save it.
One way to buy it.
Then everyone's a winner.
You're not going to have to get evicted and go through the whole rigmarole of finding another place
to live and to be honest with you.
I was like a beggar late saw an aha moment for me.
It was a perspective that I never considered.
And the reason I tell you this story is because I was caught in my prospective first position.
The landlord was caught in his prospective which was second.
But then our neighbour.
She looked at the whole situation from an objective perspective.
What is the best possible outcome here.
So understanding this side of the story I'm understanding this side of the story but this third position
this third perspective is one that is a motional he touched from both first and second perspectives
which makes it objective.
Third perspective is generally the voice of reason.
No.
It's important that you understand this when working and managing the people that are going to come
to you for life coaching because most of the time they're going to be fully immersed in first position
you as a life coach are going to be in their second position.
So it's going to be important that you take a stance outside of your own subjectivity.
That's completely apart from them.
Hence the reason you can't get caught up in a story so that you can objectively look upon their situation
or their circumstance from an outsider's point of view.
And this is the third perceptual position.
This is how we can offer objective perspective towards those that we work with which is going to be
completely unbiased and generally nine times terms of 10.
I mentioned the voice of reason.
No this is one stance that we can take as life coaches but this is also an exercise that we can use
to guide those that were coaching outside of their own perspective and into another for example.
Right.
I see that this was an actual problem that you were dealing with in the context of a life coaching relationship.
So personally a coaching we're going to be caught in first.
So how you do this is you ask to close your eyes and the margin what it will be like for this person
from their perspective.
No.
This can sometimes take a few moments for the person to actually focus then and step outside of their
own perspective to look at the problem from an alternative point of view.
Once they've done this nine times out of 10 Most people will say ah so I can understand their perspective.
No because I'm not just looking at the problem from my own perspective but then to go one step further
we ask them look inside if your minds I know step into an outsider's perspective.
So just imagine that you're someone on the side of both of you is looking in you and the landlord having
an argument can you see a win win solution in which both parties stand to gain.
And this is the stance that you want to be taken as a life coach and that you also want to be empowering
your clients to take as they come to you for guidance.
So this is perceptual positions.
There is an information fact she's sure many exercise workbook attached to not download all downloadable
material section of this video.
This is primarily and any other key technique but it's a framework that is strongly going to serve you
in the context of any life coaching relationship that you're going to have.
So for this interest don't download the original materials and or look forward to seeing again in their
last and final video or this section.
We're going to bring the whole section to close.
We found all this quite quite interesting.